Divorce

This last week, we talked about divorce and how it can effect a family and also how families can recover from being a "broken" home and then trying to come together again. I found it really fascinating some of the statistics that my teacher gave us about divorce. Many people dont realize that divorce is incredible expensive. Several HUNDRED thousands of dollars initially, but the rippling effects can add up to almost a million over the following years.
Also, over 80% of divorced people (within 5 years after the divorce) wish that they had not gotten divorced, but rather tried to get through it.
And those that do work through it say that within 2 years there is an incredible increase in their happiness as a family, even greater than when they were newly wed.
I think that the problem is that many people jump in to divorce, hoping that it will serve as a quick fix to all their problems, but they do not think of all the long term damages that will occur, especially if their are children involved.
It is always, ALWAYS, worth it to seek help and work your way through the issues, rather than just try and run away from the problems through divorce.

Everything there is to know about parenting....haha NOT

Parenting is such a challenging thing. There is no way to measure your success in the present. Many times, looking back, we see what we could or should have done differently. Things are always changing, including the trials and challenges that come with parenting.

I wish I could just make a list of the right and wrong things that parents can do. But it is not that simple.  The one thing that I have really learned this week is that to be a good parent you need to be dynamic and adaptable, patient and understanding, and always aware of your communications. I think that if parents follow this guideline, they can track their progress and should be able to handle most situations in an acceptable way. Oftentimes there is no right or wrong way to handle a specific situation. Parents always need to be ready to look for opportunities to teach their children and also build their children’s confidence in them.

Fathers and finances

In class we talked a lot about the responsibility that fathers have to provide for their families.  Especially in today’s economy many families are worried about finances. Some families often consider having the mother going and getting a job as well. This can have many different effects within the home.  Many church leaders encourage mothers to remember that their primary responsibility is to nurture and raise their children. This is not a sexist idea, or saying that women are not good enough to work.  Women should pursue an education and then use that in their day-to-day lives within their home. After their children are grown up, and if they still see fit, it is great for moms to go out into the workforce and use their expertise in whatever their desired field is.  But the father’s responsibility is to protect and provide for the family. In today’s world the biggest part of this protection comes from financial stability. The father should always be doing his best and working his hardest to make sure that his family will never go without.

Communication

Communication is use within our families every day.  Between husband and wife, parents and children, and brothers and sisters.  If our channels of communication are not clear, then we will create confusion and disorder within the home.  Much of our Communication is nonverbal.  We need to be aware of how we act around others, the tone of our voice and the actions that we make I when we speak with them.

When we learn to listen, we greatly strengthen our ability to effectively communicate with one another.  When there are problems within the home they usually comes from a misunderstanding or somebody’s inability to listen.

Stress!

Many people try to avoid stress as much as I can.  But stress, in and of itself, does not cause problems.  Stress is just the feelings that we have of needing to accomplish certain tasks.  The problems arise with how we handle the stress.  If we put it off or ignore it then we will create bigger problems for ourselves.  However, if we look at every opportunity as a chance to grow and come together as a family, we can turn the stress into motivation and energy to cause our family to act in the right direction.

Sexual Intimacy

This past week we discussed sexual intimacy and the role that it plays with our families. Many people feel uncomfortable openly discussing their sexual lives, but it is important that couples are aware of one another’s feelings and needs and that they strive to exercise this power in a respectful and reverent way which helps them to strengthen their relationship as husband-wife, and also keep themselves emotionally and physically and psychologically healthy. Sexuality is something that is becoming more and more underappreciated in our world today.  People talk about it and treat the subject with very little respect.  This creates an attitude of nonchalant and carelessness towards this very special and sacred experiences.  It is our role as parents and family members to teach others and set the example as to how we should respect and use our bodies to strengthen our relationships within our home.

Transitions in marriage.

While talking about transitions within marriage, we discussed how every marriage goes through trials and obstacles. Many people think that these trials will result in conflict or troubles within a marriage, but if we know how to transition through these, we can use them as opportunities to grow together and strengthen our family bonds. In order to do this, there needs to be a strong form of communication between husband and wife. Without being open with one another, it is impossible to transition as a team.